A little bit of madness here and there
by Our Beauty. Your Obsession
Summary: Its not really anything. Certain aspects of wedding jitter, but mostly useless writings of a woman with serious sleep deprivation - AKA...ME!


**AN - this is just one of those tiny, random, useless ideas that came to mind. Pretty much revolves around the decision to wed. I am in no ways a fantastic poet. So dont have to higher hopes. AS FOR MY OTHER STORY! i found some time between rescuing my cousins drunk friends from certain death (midnight skinny dips in the canals of QLD) to write a chapter... ive probably got like another few pages of it to go and then we'll be sweet!. Im going to try to post it befor i leave for NZ . **

**On a lighter note! EXAM MARKS ARE BACK. 22 outa 25 for Ancient History. WHOS A BOSS?. I AM!**

I yearn for the depths of the meadow.

The gentle song of the wind.

Tomorrow has come to fast.

I need to go.

I need to run but running wont help he only drags me back in my dreams.

Haunting my dreams, he speaks to me.

I have wanted today for along time.

Dreamed of it.

Needed it.

But now that tomorrow is today.

I want to run away.

The sanity scares me.

The real.

He knows what is to be today.

I should be happy.

Flashes of white.

Today I am to wear white.

Conceal my face.

Hide behind a veal.

That is all too literal.

I cannot do it.

He controls me.

He follows me.

Whispers things.

I can feel him.

He's all around me.

Sleepless nights.

I wont go on.

So I'm running.

Still in the dress.

The dress that portrays eternal devotion to another.

But I am a lie concealed in this dress.

A lie to big for this dress.

I cannot breath.

I do not run to the meadow.

For it is contaminated with the truth.

Him.

He knows it.

Has it marked.

So I run far away.

People stare.

I run straight into the bush.

How does one get lost?

I must lose myself.

Lose the lie.

Lose the truth.

Seems like hours until I find a cave.

It is just a mountain side with a chunk bitten from it.

But it will do.

Vines grow inside.

It is long since used.

I lay my head down.

Breath in and let the insanity take over.

The familiar numbness.

And all is well again.

I laugh.

Tearing the dress to shreds.

Loosening the lie.

Until it is nothing but rags.

The rags show the emptiness.

The dress can no longer hide secrets.

I sway round and round and round over and over the wind sings to me.

Calming my heart.

The meaningless words a lullaby.

Then a deep voice rumbles from deep within.

"you cannot escape me, you are mine. And you always will be."

Sanity threatens.

But I push on.

Ignoring the voice.

If I cannot hear it.

It is not there,

but the voice is louder.

Menacing "you doubt you own mind" I swing faster "you know the truth" faster again " you will come to me" the sense of control in his voice freezes me.

I obey I retreat to the darkness of the cave.

Where the voice lives.

"you cannot escape me"

Sanity.

It is here.

It has risen.

I cannot escape it.

It floods my memories until I cry out in pain "No" the single word stuns me.

My voice.

That was my voice,

my feet carry me forward until he is holding me.

My snesess are alive I feel the pulse.

I need to run.

It is my only sense.

To run.

To hide.

To forget.

So I run.

I turn and I run.

But he is fast.

To fast.

And I am pulled back against his chest.

My voice rungs out as an echo in the cave. I say the single word over and over again " no" "no" and on I go.

He holds on tighter. Making sure I never escape.

I'm being sucked in.

The insanity of his presence.

I scream out. I try to fight him.

Fight it.

Fight his presence.

This makes him aware of my escape.

His lips find my neck.

Butterfly light.

Trailing up and down.

Back and forth, sucking me in.

I tingle.

He knows he's wining.

My legs wobble. "you belong to me" he whispers against my neck.

My legs give way.

And we sink to the ground.

The overwhelming desire to fall into a deep dark state becomes aware in me.

My eyes close.

He is speaking in a foreign tongue.

I realise that it is the wind song.

The meaningless words now take meaning.

"listen with your heart. You will understand" the words are repeated by his voice.

Over and over until it is no longer his voice.

But my own.

We lay in a heap on the floor.

It is cold.

But I do not feel it.

He keeps me warm.

It scares me.

I try to shift.

But he captures me.

And I realise.

This is the end.

Submit.

This is defeat.

I have listened.

It is him.

I survive on him.

He owns me.

And I will submit.

I cannot deify him because the wind is destiny.

And I must listen.

Because the wind knows all for it has travelled for millenniums and has seen land upon land . ocean upon ocean.

And the wind knows what I must do.

And what I must do is submit.

To his insanity.


End file.
